I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize