On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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