On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
