so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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