Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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