I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He? As in you personified your dick?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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