this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
only if we run a train.
done.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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