My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
