Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
