Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
