Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
