Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
