She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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