you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
