k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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