Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
