He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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