Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
