I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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