Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
