can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
