don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize