Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
