She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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