Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
