If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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