Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
