That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
