How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
