There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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