My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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