Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
