I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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