I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
