he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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