Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
handjob tips. give me some.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
