ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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