But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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