She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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