we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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