I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
