Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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