im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
