Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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