hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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