well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize