your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
