I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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