its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
