what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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