since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
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If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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