on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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