you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize