I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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