It's like God shit irony all over that family
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
