school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
