Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
