Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
