I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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