question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
