At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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