You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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