I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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